This is not a title of a scientific study made by a crime research center. Unfortunately, it is a title of a debate raised by a Tweet of a woman standing by “the harasser, the rapist and the killer», if the woman is not wearing decent clothes. Exactly as I believe in the freedom of speech, I also believe in the freedom of stupidity. However, the fact is that the amount of people who disagree with this concept far outnumber those who support it.
In my humble opinion, our Eastern culture created those types of women in our homes, our schools and our work. Why not while our Arab societies bring up the woman to bear responsibility alone for all relationship mistakes, even if it is the man’s fault, based on the proverb “a man endures his fault while a woman’s fault cost the family their honor”. The same societies, which advise women to cover up, forget to advise men to lower their gaze. What about pedophilia? Do children also have to cover up in case we blame them for what happened?
However, we created this comparison in the women’s heads, we cry over the results after which a woman stands by a rapist. When we raise the girl as an imperfect, incapacitated creature and in need for a permission from the man in everything in her life, it is normal for woman to blame herself for any trouble that happened because of a man, even if it was a crime such as rape. Thus, do not today disapprove that these ideas come from women! Did not one of them oppose making a law that punishes the harasser under the pretence that we then prove the existence of the crime of harassment?
This week, one of the TV channels showed a bit strange experiment. They asked a young actor to disguise himself as a woman, and walk on a street in an Arab country and they made a video about his experiences. They made this experiment twice with reserved clothes except the first time he was with headcover (Hijab) and the second time without it. In both cases, same harassment was repeated boldly.
After this experience, the actor confirmed that he suffered a little comparing to what women suffer every day and silently. He also expressed the difficulty of feeling her suffer because he returned to his normal life at the end, while women go through that every day.
The women’s point of view of themselves is that their actions only are responsible for what troubles they experience, which made some sick people dare to insult, defame and harass his own female citizens while shows respect for women in countries that have strict laws against his type! This same point of view is the reason for the society’s belief that divorcees and single women are inferior as they are certainly the reason for the failure of a marriage, or any future marriage.
Yet the most dangerous types of women oppression, is for herself and others of same sex, giving excuses for those who harm her and even encouraging them with her silence, surrender and blame for the victim rather than the criminal. Thus, this repression is the most dangerous and deadliest types for women.
Have a minute to read the story of Prophet Joseph “peace be upon him”:
“And it so happened that the lady in whose house Joseph was living, sought to tempt him to herself, and one day bolting the doors she said: “Come on now!” Joseph answered: “May Allah grant me refuge! My Lord has provided an honourable abode for me (so how can I do something so evil)? Such wrong-doers never prosper.” (12:23)
Published in al Hayat