I hate you but won’t leave you


The comments that I receive in my email and on my pages in social networking sites make me happy whether an encouragement or criticism. May Allah have mercy upon whoever reveals to me my faults, old people say…

I also receive my share of insults and ignore them, in accordance with the saying of Imam Shafi’i: “If the fool speaks, don’t respond to him as silence is the best answer (for him). If you (do) speak to him (then) you have supported him (i.e. his foolishness by giving him importance); and if you left him (without speaking/answering), then in anguish he dies.”

However, there are types of comments, that I receive, make me wonder in which category they belong to. I mean comments such as; « how I hate » or « I looked for your page just to inform you about my hatred towards you ». There is a very weird person who, whenever I post something on my page, leaves a very long comment that starts with mocking my profile picture and my forehead, passing through the usual betrayal charges, and concluding with a cursing prayer for me and whomever read for me without leaving one comment on the article itself! This reminds me of the famous Hijazi saying: «I swear to God I would never leave you not for sake of love but for annoying you».

I tried repeatedly to understand how a person would waste all this time and effort, not only of having all this hatred for others but of also searching for them to express this hatred. I consider hatred is one of the most negative emotions that only kills a person just as fire burns wood.  Rarely this feeling affects the person we hate, and rarely he cares to know what we feel towards him, especially if he is not part of our personal lives. Once I wrote jokingly in «twitter»; «I have never faced threats and feelings of hatred except in the cyber world, and I have never met one of them face to face in the real world! cowards! ». I received immediate mentions from three people confirm their deep hatred for me, and their willingness to meet me in person to express these feelings. None of them live in the nearby, therefore, I sent them my Skype ID to make a  video call to understand this enthusiasm to hatred … None called until today!

Someone once said, “My friend was harshly insulting you. Therefore, I asked him “Have you heard from her?” He replied,” I heard from people” and I asked him again “Did you read any of her articles, or watch one of her interviews?” He answered, “No, I did not want to, but people say …”  I interrupted him saying, “People, people, nothing destroyed us but people!”. My simple answer to his friend is this, if the conception formation of a person depended on the words of people, then what is the benefit of the mind that God gave us?  The friend of that person reminds me of myself during my teenage years. A wild campaign against the late Dr. Ghazi al-Gosaibi has been launched describing him of being atheist and prohibiting reading his “impudent” books. Being influenced by such harsh opinions, I hated this person until I read one of his books by accident. At that moment I regretted having not read all of his books, and for my feelings of hatred towards him without proof … I learned then that every story has two sides thus, never make one sided judgements. Listen to both sides and then “Follow your heart, even if you were told otherwise“.

I conclude my article with this e-mail that has touched me a lot:

(For the first time I read for you. Much of what I have towards you has changed. I knew you initially through the topic of Women2Drive and its consequences, surely from newspapers, social networking sites, and from people talk. However, I’m a person who does not believe in any cause, the strange thing is according to the increasing gossip of others, I automatically hated you.

Your article was as a making up meeting between you and me. It released me from all the negative emotions that I felt towards you, and not because of your attitudes as I told you before!

In all cases, the value of our life lies in the struggle for a lawful right no matter how we suffered.)

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الكاتب: Manal M. al Sharif منال مسعود الشريف

خلقنا الله أحراراً ومتساوين.. ليس من حق أحد سلبك هذا الحق.. إلا إذا رضيت أنت بذلك God created us free and equal. No one can take that away unless you allow it.

9 thoughts on “I hate you but won’t leave you”

  1. one day we can meet. Would you come to Canada I I invite you ? Best regards, Shamas. Who can have a reason to hate such a beautiful person. I only wish

  2. Dear Manal. Reading ur articles does affect me in good way , positive effect. Please keep it up writing those articles, it encourage me and push me to the best. You are role model for.me cuz you are mix of strength,
    confidence, And knowlegde
    May allah bless you ♥♥♥

  3. Dear Manal, how great that you are coming to Canada! Can we connect by phone while you are here–at last?! It would be wonderful because my birthday is September 15! :- I will be on a B-day celebration trip with my family during the second week in Septermber, and I can give you a phone number where I can be reached during that time. Let me know your thoughts! Much love, Conni
    P.S. My family was very impressed with your TED speech and our collaboration! :-))

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